Four Things Porn Makes You Believe

4 fire

I actually have to tell men (and occasionally women) that seeing others, besides their spouses, in erotic scenarios isn’t good for them. That they shouldn’t sit around and watch others have sex. It seems obvious to me how bad this would be for you, and the statistical evidence against it is significant, but I still actually have to tell men, smart men: “This is bad for your marriage!” “This subconsciously changes how you view women.” “What momma doesn’t know does hurt her! So stop dad!”

Pornography has gone viral. Literally. It’s what’s for dinner. And there’s no stopping it. When anything gains the four “A’s” it’s only just a matter of time until it expands beyond control: (1) It’s readily Available; (2) It’s very Affordable; (3) It’s totally Anonymous; (4) Yet it’s increasingly Acceptable. And so the monster grows.

Can this just be a really honest blog? Like, just gut-wrenchingly clear? Because I don’t want the grave seriousness of this message to be distorted by anything. In fact, let me cut right to the chase and say what I need to say: You cannot love your wife (present or future), like Jesus loved the church, if you look at porn. Nor can you love your female neighbors, like Jesus loved you, if you look at porn.

Porn is self-love, but the cross is self-sacrifice. So cross-shaped people pass on porn.

You see, every time you sit down and entertain yourself with erotic fantasy, you burn into your heart and head four vile lessons that you might rather forget after it’s all said and done:

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How I Know My Wife Married the Wrong Person (Part 4)

wedding8
Photo Credit: Suni Danielle Photography

Two years ago I made the greatest decision of my life… Lindsay Faull. But after two years of marriage, I wonder if she did. Because let’s be honest, she didn’t marry an astronaut. Or a doctor. Or a GQ cover model. Or a Yankee (the baseball kind). I’m from Mars and she’s from Earth. I make mistakes daily. I wait too long to apologize. I forget to take out the trash. Sometimes I even make decisions out of spite. And have I mentioned how much I don’t like hummus? Apparently that’s like the unforgiveable sin among women, a real deal-breaker.

Point is, Lindsay and I know she married the wrong person. In fact, sin’s presence in the world guarantees that we all marry the wrong person. There are only two kinds of people: (1) wrong people who think they’re right and (2) wrong people who are becoming right, through Jesus. And you’ll marry one of the two.

So I blogged about this. And because of the tremendous interest the original post drew, I’ve been posting a series of follow-ups. Each one addresses some of the more destructive ways people react to the painful reality that their Mr. or Mrs. Right can be awfully wrong… and they don’t even come with a warranty. Let’s look at solution #3 today: Continue reading

How I Know My Wife Married the Wrong Person (Part 3)

wedding 3b
Photo Credit: Suni Danielle Photography

On June 4th, my wife Lindsay and I celebrated the best two years of our lives to date. But after two years of marriage, there’s no more hiding behind chivalry. I can’t buy enough flowers. She’s seen my paycheck. I’m running out of new pet names. She’s figured out I don’t dig chick-flicks, the Gap Outlet, or hummus. And I think (this hasn’t been confirmed for certain) she knows I snore… sometimes.

In fact, she knows (and so do I) that she married the “wrong” person. All jokes aside, sin’s presence in the world guarantees it. There are only two kinds of people: (1) wrong people who think they’re right and (2) wrong people who are becoming right, through Jesus. And you’ll marry one of the two.

So I blogged about this. And because of the tremendous interest the original post drew, I’ve decided to post a series of follow-ups. Each one will address the four “solutions” I listed in the original, and hopefully you’ll care enough to read, or share, or sneer, or, at the very least, sympathize.

*** How I Know My Wife Married the Wrong Person (Part 3) ***

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How I Know My Wife Married the Wrong Person (Part 2)

part 2
Photo Credit: Suni Danielle Photography

Tuesday, my wife Lindsay and I celebrated our two year anniversary. Two years ago, we tied the knot and took the plunge. Two years ago, the cutest girl in Indiana was taken off the market! Two years ago, we launched the beginning of the rest of our lives. Two years ago…

And after two years, there’s no hiding behind the dinner-and-a-movie façade of dating life any longer. I can’t buy enough flowers to conceal it. I can’t open enough doors. I can’t say enough “I love you’s.” She knows (and painfully, so do I) that she married the “wrong” person.

So I blogged about it. And people read it. Uhhhhhh, a lot of people read it. Like, way too many people read it. Proving to me two things: (1) most of you are really bored at work and (2) most of you really care about marriage. And that’s awesome. It’s kind of a big deal.

So in light of the tremendous interest the first post drew, I’ve decided to post a series of follow-ups. Each one will address, point by point, the four “solutions” I listed in the original blog, and hopefully you’ll care enough to read, or share, or sneer, or, at the very least, sympathize.

With that being said…

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How I Know My Wife Married the “Wrong” Person

wedding 2
Photo Credit: Suni Danielle Photography

Today my wife Lindsay and I celebrate our two year anniversary. Two years ago, we tied the knot and took the plunge. Two years ago, the cutest girl in Indiana was taken off the market! Two years ago, we launched the beginning of the rest of our lives. Two years ago…

And after two years, there’s no hiding behind the dinner-and-a-movie façade of dating life any longer. I can’t buy enough flowers to conceal it. I can’t open enough doors. I can’t say enough “I love you’s.” She knows (and painfully, so do I) that she married the wrong person.

Continue reading